NFL Hyperbolic Statements- Week 6

A team gets it's heart ripped out, cut to shreds, thrown in a pot of boiling oil, and eaten like fritola. A jerk gets redemption; remains jerk. A finesse team gets a little nasty.

Worst Bludgeoning I've Ever Witnessed: You may think I'm referring to the Pats 59-0 smackdown of the Titans. Don't get me wrong. The Titans flat out quit. Something about that cold, unseasonable New England snow just wrenched the fight right out of them. You don't lose by 59 in today's NFL without somebody giving up. But no... I'm referring to the Eagles pathetic display at Oakland. McNabb with less than 50% complete? A mere 14 rushing attempts? And an 86 yard TD allowed to the back up tight end? Perhaps the Eagles were looking past this opponent and ahead to the meat of their schedule. I guess every team is entitled to one inexplicable loss per season. Perhaps my 'Skins can hand one out next weekend.

Best Defensive Coach Ever: Greg Lewis, Saints. Washington let him go with little fanfare, but I was really upset at that move. The 'Skins D was at its best when Lewis was at the helm. It just goes to show that the NFL is truly a coach's league. Last year the Saints allowed 393 points and were 26th in total defense. This year they're blitzing from everywhere and making opponents feel the pain. This year they're 12th in total D and 6th points allowed. All they need to do is stay decent, and the offense will score plenty of points. My favorite moment from Sunday's game was when they got Eli Manning to move all of his protection pre-snap to the offensive right, but then the Saints blitzed from the left. This team is just fun to watch. What's not to like about a team that scores 40 a game and blitzes like rabid fisher cats every defensive snap? Well, there is one thing...

Least Desirable Redemption Ever: Jeremy Shockey, Saints. Was anyone really cheering for this guy to get revenge on his former team? The team that drafted him and gave him every chance to succeed? I'm sure Schlocky feels wronged in some way even though he's the one who ran his mouth. He's the one who dropped pass after pass. And he's the one who set back Eli's development. I bet Shockey was the kind of kid who liked to steal lunch money.

File this one under WTF: I looked in the candy machine at my office the other day and found a new variety of Snickers; Snickers Charged. This one has added caffeine! If chocolate, caramel & nougat aren't enough to give you a little jolt of energy, you have one serious case of hypoglycemia. Does everything have to have caffeine in it now? What's next? Noodle soup? Celery? Cheeseburgers? Mark my words. Within 12 months' time, you will see the McJolt burger at Mickey D's. It will contain coffee crusted bacon.

Championship Sunday Round Up

• I usually know who to cheer for come Super Bowl time. But there are a lot of reasons to like both Arizona and Pittsburgh. Not least of which is that Warner and Roethlisberger are two of my favorite QB's.
• Roethlisberger can be maddening at times, the way he holds the ball ...and holds the ball. But yesterday he was at his slippery best without turning it over. His receivers, including Santonio Holmes in particular, did an awesome job of getting open once the play was busted. It was like sandlot football out there.
• People forget that in Kurt Warner's St. Louis days the running game was there to keep teams honest. They threw a lot obviously, but they also got huge chunks of yards on the ground and often had a team average of over 4.5 yards per carry. When Warner has that to help him, he's even more deadly. As opposed to Big Ben, he gets the ball out quick and is one of the most accurate passers in the game.
• This just in: Larry Fitzgerald is a monster. He's like Randy Moss without the baggage. Plus, as a bonus, he breaks tackles like Jerome Bettis. He is deceptively strong.
• It took Arizona this long to find a consistent winning formula. I don't know how, but the defense is playing much better. These certainly doesn't look like the same squad that surrendered 426 points this season. I kept waiting for an opponent to run all over them. It never happened. That combined with a commitment to the rush themselves are the reasons for their success.
• I can't help but feel bad for Donovan McNabb. The right thing to do is blow it all up now in Philly and get something in a trade for McNabb and even Westbrook. I can see a 5-11 season next year easily.
• I can envision McNabb having a lot of success on a team where he doesn't have to be the man. Minnesota would be perfect.
• Joe Flacco's inaccuracy finally caught up with him. As I said before, it was pretty remarkable how he was able to avoid turnovers with the way he sprays the ball all over the field.
• My thoughts and prayers are with Willis McGahee, who suffered a devastating hit yesterday. He was carted off the field on a stretcher. Fortunately, preliminary medical reports are that he is in good condition, but he will remain in the hospital for observations.
• I guess I have to stick with my pre-playoff Super Bowl Pick. Things didn't pan out exactly as I thought, but the Steelers seem poised to win their second championship in four seasons and their record setting sixth as a franchise. I think it will be a very close game with the Steeler defense making the one play they need. Steelers 24, Cardinals 17.

Eagles, Ravens Vindicate Dan

Well, I was 50% on Wild Card Weekend thanks to wins by Baltimore and Philly. The Eagles had a clear advantage in QB play, which I thought would be the difference and it was. Minnesota's D helped them hang around, but once they got down two scores, it took AP out of the game plan, and the Vikings were toast.

Miami's offense was just not able to challenge the Raven's defense at all. Joe Flacco, while he sprayed the football all over the field, didn't make the big mistakes and Chad Pennington did. Chad has a number of good qualities; intelligence, accuracy, leadership. But sometimes you just need a big gun. Chad doesn't have one. There was one deep ball he threw where he had a receiver open despite double coverage. Had he been able to get the ball out in front and toward the sideline, he may have completed it. Instead it was short and to the inside, easy pickings.

The results of the weekend festivities have created some unfavorable match ups for the top seeds in each conference (on account of the stupid seeding process placing division winners in a higher position than wild cards regardless of record). The Giants have to play division foe, Philadelphia, for the third time. The aggregate score from the two regular season meetings; Eagles 51, Giants 50. (Thanks Peter King.) They're probably the last team the Giants want to face.

Baltimore goes to Tennessee in the Ug Bowl. The first team to attempt a pass loses. It will result in an interception or a sack and fumble. Final score 3-0. Both teams rely on defense and getting lucky. The key to beating teams like these is to be patient and play mistake free. Even though I don't think much of Kerry Collins, I have to give the Titans the advantage at QB. Joe Flacco looked like Mitch Williams yesterday the way he was flinging it around.

Eagles still in flight

After the Ravens destroyed Philly and Andy Reid sat Donovan McNabb I, like most other Eagles fans, felt the Eagles were done. Now, three weeks later, they're still on the outside looking in but they are still very much alive in the NFC Wild Card hunt and they are playing like a team on a mission.

Somehow this offense has found a rhythm that they haven't really had on a consistent basis all season. All of their receivers are stepping up and at the moment the don;t seem to need that number one guy as long as McNabb keeps distributing the ball equally.

Donovan McNabb has somehow returned to his 2004 form and the Eagles offense looks as dynamic as ever. They have two tough games left but I think they can handle the reeling Redskins and they should be able to edge the Cowboys at home.

Now aside from winning out, they also need some help from the Buccaneers or the Falcons. One of those teams needs to lose a game and that is a possibility in Week 16. The Bucs take on the Chargers who are still mathematically alive in the AFC West and the Falcons take on the Vikings who just trounced the faux division winning Cardinals. Both have easy match ups in Week 17 so the Eagles need one of those teams to slip up now.

This still my be the end of McNabb in Philly and that may be the best move for each party, but at least glad that he is reminding Philadelphia why he is one of the best in the game when he's right.

Good'ole T.O. finally makes an appearance

You have to give credit where credit is due. Kudos to you T.O. It took you almost three full seasons to go all locker room virus on your new team. In Philly you managed to get yourself thrown out of town in just 21 games.

As an Eagles fan it gives me great pleasure to see these types of things, especially when it with a division rival that I despise more than any other team save the Patriots.

My hope would be that this little riff leads to another meltdown in Dallas and the Cowboys slip just a little more. Anyway with the way Philly is playing right now the Boys probably won't be able to handle them in Week 17 anyway. Nonetheless it is fun to watch T.O. work his magic.

NFL Top 10: Week 12

What does everyone think of all of this junk? I've been doing this for about a month now and I'm sure I could reverse positions three through ten and the list would make just as much sense. All of the week 11 teams made it to week 12 but one. We have someone new in the number 10 spot. Check it out.

1. Giants (9-1): Last week #1. Brandon Jacobs, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Derrick Ward are like the three heads of the fearsome Cerberus. They combined for 31 carries and 210 yards against the touted Ravens D. The Giants have rushed for 200 yards in three straight games.

2. Titans (10-0): Last week #2. I had been wondering all season how the Titans would fair in a game when they were down double digits late. Sunday they gave me the answer. I am now a believer.

3. Panthers (8-2): Last week #6. Jake Delhomme has another game where he only reaches double digits in passing yards. No matter, the Panthers just rush for over 200 and destroy the outmatched Lions.

4. Steelers (7-3): Last week #5. Not a pretty win in the snow, but they managed to tough it out against a Charger team that was just aching for a victory.

5. Colts (6-4): Last week #7. They are getting into a groove at the right time. No one will want to face them if they can get into the playoffs.

6. Patriots (6-4): Last week #3. I would still favor them in a playoff match up vs. the Jets, but Sunday's loss has to hurt. Correction: In last week's top ten I speculated about a trade involving Matt Cassel. The fact is Mr. Cassel is about to have a dump truck full of money dumped on his lawn in free agency. I doubt the Pats will match any offer he gets on the open market in order to keep him in New England to back up Brady. Buyer beware though. Remember Matt Schaub?

7. Redskins (6-4): Last week #4. Sorry fellow 'Skins fans. I smell a slide coming on. There's no way for them to stay in the hunt unless they beat the Seahawks next week. Then the week after that it's the Giants. Ouch.

8. Cardinals (7-3): Last week #8. It looks like we're going to have the first Cards playoff berth since Jake the Snake was at the helm.

9. Buccaneers (7-3): Last week #9. Jeff Garcia keeps on trucking along. They have an interesting stretch coming up. First the Lions then three divisional games in a row.

10. Jets (7-3): Last week unranked. I can't ignore that big time win against the Pats. This sets up a very interesting game against the undefeated Titans this weekend.

What the hell is up with...? The Eagles. This is another seemingly good team that just can't get it together. They failed to keep pace with the rest of the NFC East following their sister-kissing tie against the Bungles. How does an offense like that only manage 13 points on Cincinnati, then fail to score at all in overtime? The big fat cherry on top of this is that Donovan McNabb didn't realize the game could end in a tie. Huh? I know it doesn't happen very often, but c'mon. (For the record, I am not in favor of changing the system to avoid ties. It's so infrequent that it's not worth taxing already overtaxed players with multiple OT periods.)