NFL Hyperbolic Statements-Week 13

A couple teams to watch for and a couple on suicide watch. What I want for Xmas. And cut this guy now...

I Hate You: Shaun Suisham, Redskins. I hate to keep advocating physical violence, but this dude needs a flogging with a broom handle. I looked at his numbers and really they're not that bad, but from my observation this guy misses so many easy kicks. I've been calling for him to get cut for two years. I knew as soon as the 'Skins allowed the Saints to tie the game and went into OT they were going to lose. It's just one of those seasons for both teams. The Saints at 11-0 feel like they're never out of a game. The 'Skins feel like they can never get a break. It reflects in both teams play.

Teams You Should Be Afraid Of: No one is really talking about them because of the ridiculous seasons the Colts and Saints are having, but the league needs to watch out for both the Cardinals and Chargers. Let's not forget that the Cards are the defending NFC champs. They served that notice to the Vikings in a big way Sunday night. The Chargers are another team I would not want to face when the playoffs start. They are quietly 9-3. Both teams have tremendous offensive weapons, fearless quarterbacks, and underrated defenses.

Teams I'm Not Afraid Of Anymore: The Steelers and the Patriots. The Steelers have lost four in a row. Two of those games were against the Chiefs and the Raiders. Yeck. A Super Bowl caliber defense should not give up 21 in the fourth quarter against anyone, never mind the Raiders. The Patriots have gone from offensive juggernaut to one dementional. And on the defensive side they are inexperienced. Furthermore, Tom Brady apparently thinks it's ok to just chuck the ball to Randy Moss even when completely blanketed. Not only that, but Brady seems to be calling out his teammates out for not working hard. According to some sources he may be talking about the aforementioned Moss.

Please God, Please: Can we have a Saints vs. Colts Super Bowl? It seems like it's been a long time since we've seen a real battle of the big boys in the biggest game. Some people like underdogs. I want to see the two most dominant teams with the two nastiest QB's go blow for blow in the Super Bowl. AND how freaking cool would it be for both teams to be 18-0 going into the game?

File This One Under WTF: I am attempting to cultivate my own Buffalo wing sauce. Frank's Red Hot etc. just haven't been cutting it for me. Today as I was cutting up jalepenos and habeneros to put in the food processor, I decided to sample a piece of the raw habenero. Aaahh, Scoville Units!!!! Well, as I write, the sauce is simmering and the wings are roasting. Let's how this turns out.

Saints Spank Pats

Sorry folks. No in depth analysis or astute observations in this post; only utter glee at seeing the Patriots get pummeled. My personal favorite was the busted coverage on Devery Henderson's back breaking TD reception, not a New England player within 20 yards.

On the other side of the ball, I can't remember seeing Tom Brady play so poorly. Usually a Brady int. involves a tipped ball or a hit from a D-lineman. I've never seen him throw balls up for grabs the way he did last night. But give the Saints credit, they got after Brady all night and mixed in their blitzes well.

Call me crazy, but I don't think it's too early to talk about Drew Brees for the Hall of Fame. Normally the HOF won't pay any mind to a QB without a Super Bowl ring unless he's got stats that look like the figures for the national debt (ex: Marino, Fouts, Moon). Drew Brees is well on his way with nearly 30,000 yards and almost 200 TD's, and he's only 29. Barring injury he'll pass those benchmarks this year. Throw in his historic 5,000 yard season, and he's well on his way. Throw in a Super Bowl ring, and he's just about a sure thing. (So I lied about the astute observation).

NFL Hyperbolic Statements-Week 10

Perennial doormat makes a statement. An absolutely soporific late Sunday match up. And the most important game in the history of history.

The Big Fat Brass Ones Award: Cincinnati Bengals. They are the Bungles no more. At least for now. In a defensive struggle with reigning champ Pittsburgh, the Bengals won and took control of the AFC North. What they have done this season is staggering, considering where they once were. They are 7-2 with the tie breaker over both the Steelers and Ravens having swept both. Their record is 5-0 in the division. The win total for all of 2008 was a mere four games. After going 11-5 in '05, the Bengals followed two mediocre seasons with the fugly performance that was last year. Presently there are eight games remaining. Beware the second half yack, but the striped-ones' schedule from here consists of such compost heaps as the Browns, Lions, Raiders and Chiefs. Except for a December 13th game against the Vikings they would be favored in just about every remaining game. Don't look now, but Cincinnati could end up with a first round bye.

Are You Still Awake?: Packers 17, Cowboys 7. There have been many memorable match ups between these teams throughout the years. The Ice Bowl of course comes to mind, as does a few hotly contested playoff games in the '90's. This was not one. The game was 3-0 Pack through three quarters. This was not because of a hard-hitting defensive battle on a cold day in Lambeau. This was because of penalties, turnovers, and downright sloppiness. No other game to turn to. Heeelp!

The Most Titanical Clash of the Titans...in History: After trading three-and-outs, Manning and Brady traded quick touch downs. Running game? We don't need no F-ing running game (the biggest misconception in sports in the necessity for a power running game in the NFL). Screw that! We're here to see the quarterbacks, you know, the guys who bag girls who wouldn't even spit on you if you were on fire. This game had everything. But the one thing people can't stop talking about is Belichick's fourth down call on his own 28. What precipitated this inexplicable decision? Arrogance? Absolute faith in Brady? Absolute fear of Manning? No confidence in the defense? Or something else? I think Belichick just wanted to put an end to it. Pick up two yards and the game is over. These Colts/Pats match ups are so physically and emotionally taxing that he just wanted to go all-in. For once, he acted on emotion instead of intellect. For the record, I think he was wrong. As Dwight Freeney said, I would have punted even if I were playing Madden. There are only a few regular season games that ever get remembered for the ages; Brett Favre's Monday Nighter after his father died, Giants 7, 49ers 3 in 1990. This one should be right up there. Side Note: Reggie Wayne is one of the best receivers in football. He does everything well. He runs good routs. He can burn past anybody, and has hands like velcro. I would choose him over just about anyone in the league right now.

File This One Under WTF: Titans Owner, Bud Adams. You are too hilarious for me to be outraged.